Today we explore the tools of survival. Getting lost sucks for most people, but for others, it might be thrilling knowing there’s risks and adventure involved. So when people do get lost in the wild, what are the chances they’ll make it out alive? Well, that might just come down to what you’ve got inside your backpack.

Here are some of our favorite survival tools that will guarantee a better chance of getting out alive. Buy all of these from Grizzly Ridge Outdoor Gear because you want to stay alive and we want money.

The Axe. This big, bad son of a B chops stuff. It doesn’t just chop good, it chops real good. Swing this big bad son of a gun at trees, logs, squirrels for food or at scary things that are running towards you, like bears and stuff. Don’t have an axe? You’ll probably die.

The Knife. Not a cheap little sissy pocket knife, a big bad ass Dundee knife that scares bad guys. Stab things with it like snakes, squirrels and Sasquaches, Perhaps later, widdle a spoon. Don’t die, take a knife.

The Rope. Tie knots, climb rocks and hang pots and stuff. You probably won’t die if you don’t have a rope so let’s move on to the next bad ass thing.

The Stove. When you’re lost, you’re likely craving squirrel thighs, moose lips and a chicken if you can stab one. How are you going to cook it if you don’t have a stove? You need a stove or you’ll go hungry. And probably die.

These are the tools of survival. We have them, buy them from us!